Train Knitting and Nutters

The Knit’n’Commute  blankie production line has been going well but I’ve had my first nutter objecting to “train knitting” this week!

I get on the mainline train and get my knitting out. Within three stitches the woman next to me pulls herself up to her  sour, scrub faced, puffed up height of self importance and inquires,

“Have you ever considered that it might be dangerous to use such pointed implements? What if there was an accident?”

(I’m currently knitting with 3.75mm knitpicks circular needles)

After catching my breath, I calmly but firmly answered,

” Yes I have, these are less sharp than your average propelling pencil or biro. In the event of an accident or train crash anyone doing a crossword would be just as dangerous.”

She answered,

” Yes, but I wouldn’t want one of those poked in my  eye either!” (Why does every nutter think knitting needles are instantly going to have their eye out?)

I said,

” But you wouldn’t consider saying anything to someone sitting here doing the crossword would you?”

She huffed and angrily turned the page of ther crappy free newspaper in an exaggerated way that made me want to giggle.

The chap opposite me who really just wanted a quite trip to work giggled as well.

She fumed the entire 25min trip  and over acted the Mrs Angry page turning routine….and I purposefully knitted the entire way.

She nearly exploded when I stood up (still knitting) and disembarked, leaving her apoplectic watching me. ..I enjoyed that.

Like anyone who has had a minor confrontation, I thought of all the things I should have said later…

“Has it occurred to you that if we had an accident or train crash all those people standing up will crash into you?”

“What about all those heavy laptop bags in the overhead parcel shelves?”

” We’re not wearing seat belts you know? That man opposite will probably crush your skull if we hit anything?”

” Everyone on the train has fingers – they could take your take your eye out…maybe all train passengers should wear mittens?”

” Oh Hell.  Why don’t you just wrap yourself in cotton wool , goggles, mittens and a crash helmet and let the grown-ups take care of the nasty pointy world??!!”

12 Responses

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  1. Anne
    Anne May 20, 2009 at 8:38 am |

    There’s always one! Well done on not poking her in the eye and fulfilling her prophecy of the harm you could cause!

  2. Aberdonian
    Aberdonian May 20, 2009 at 4:27 pm |

    But… But… You need knitting needles to get mittens!

  3. josiekitten
    josiekitten May 20, 2009 at 4:49 pm |

    Ooooooooh! Well done for keeping on knitting! Your mission (should you choose toaccept it) is to convert her into a knitter! LOL

  4. Helen
    Helen May 20, 2009 at 6:20 pm |

    that is so funny I wish these people would grow up she was probably just pissed because she can’t knit reading this made me laugh so hard it is the best thing I have read in ages cheer’s for this.

  5. Abi F
    Abi F May 20, 2009 at 7:30 pm |

    What is wrong with people!!! How can someone take offence at knitting! Maybe she’s got some kind of phobia, maybe her granny used to poke her with knitting needles when she was naughty.

  6. Allison
    Allison May 21, 2009 at 10:02 am |

    I just stumbled across your blog and it made me laugh so much! I’ve been questioned by non knitting nutters on several occasions and they wind me right up!! I was also impressed by the size of your stash ….. it almost rivals mine! Do you, like me, find that when you find the ‘perfect’ pattern, you don’t have the right yarn and have to buy more …….?

  7. Dawn
    Dawn May 22, 2009 at 4:06 pm |

    What is the matter with some pepole? this is why we should all knit in public as often as we can. These poor yarn deprived pepole are so twisted by the lack wool in their lives that it has warped their entire outlook on the world. We owe it to society as a whole to educate these pepole in the fibre arts, and make the world a better place filled with wooly love. Dawn

  8. Terri O' Brien
    Terri O' Brien May 22, 2009 at 5:28 pm |

    I think your response was brilliant, polite but firm, she had no comeback – just perfect! (Obviously it would have been lovely to add ‘silly cow’ to it but then you would have lost the moral high ground)

  9. kristen
    kristen May 26, 2009 at 5:54 pm |

    You think she would just want to watch you in envious admiration. I mean, aren’t we knitters just fabulous? Doesn’t everyone know that?

  10. WMK
    WMK June 3, 2009 at 2:31 pm |

    Just discovered you via Allison – and am glad I did. This post is a hoot!!

    ps: my after-the-encounter-zingy-remark “Be sure to keep your eyes away from my needles and you’ll be fine” followed by a big, super sweet smile.

    pps: where would a non-train-riding knitter be able to find that pattern?

  11. Dawny
    Dawny August 3, 2009 at 8:34 pm |

    I’ve been knitting for ages on the bus, and so far, no one has yet to object. Most people just stare or ignore me, some are fascinated. But not one of them has told me to stop. I’d love it if someone did, I’d know how to reply now!

  12. Nicky Wilson
    Nicky Wilson November 14, 2009 at 12:56 pm |

    Lol, I’m having fun reading your blog and especially about the “Anti-Knitting Nutter”. So far I’ve not had any problems like this, but that may be because I’ve only knitted on the train 2 times. The last trip was a little embarrassing, I hadn’t realised how long my knitting needles were in a cramped space. Fortunately commuters on either side were understanding which was good as I was finishing off Pa’s BDay present 😀 Made me think that it’s probably about time I started using circular needles. Is it true you can use these on a plane?

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