A daring escape, a villainess, a sadistic torturer, a heroic rescuer and a happy ending 😲
Who knew sock knitting could be so dramatic? I will share the unedited details with you and you can decide who is who in this Hollywood worthy story, featuring my “Flying Monkey Socks” ….
I only discovered the truth when I found some emails to and from my sister, Carol, that had been sent from my computer when I wasn’t looking…
Dear CarolWe’re using Susan’s computer so we must be quick before she catches us…I hope you remember us? We met at Cheively motorway services when we were still “on the needles”……we are the green “Flying Monkey Socks” Susan was knitting.We had dreamed of being a loved and frequently worn pair of socks but, alas, Susan has pronounced us as “too big” (That Susan can be hurtful and sizeist!).Susan was most cruel and tortured us with the washing machine and tumble dryer to force us out of our naturally voluptuous curves – to no avail – we are still deemed “too big”.Our big question is, if we could sneak our way into an envelope and get ourselves posted, could we come and live with you? We liked you when we met you and you have the right sized feet (not nasty, puny, short ones like that Susan!)Yours in hope of a good homeAbandoned Flying Monkey Socks
This heartfelt plea was quickly answered by my sister…
Dear Abandoned Flying Monkey Socks,
I find it hard to believe I am related to someone so careless of the feelings of others. My heart aches for you both. (and so do my feet).
However we must not be footist and accept people who have been short-changed in the “plates” department,
Please fly to me, you will never be abandoned, you will be cherished and loved.
Be reassured I have experience of rehoming garments deemed to be “too big”, or, as we like to call them – normal.
Can hardly wait for our reunion.
Enter the sadistic torturer…
Dearest Carol – Thank you for being willing to rehome a poor abandoned pair of socks. We plan to escape our evil creator (and captor) on Friday.Life here has become intolerable. As we lay in wait on (evil) Susan’s desk, awaiting for an opportunity to sneak into and envelope, her dastardly minion, Pixie, intercepted us and has made us her playthings. See humiliating picture…We hope to to be with you and your perfectly proportioned feet very soon…LoveGreen Flying Monkey socks
My Poor Dears.How you are suffering. I will make it all up to you when you finally escape the clutches of evil Susan, and the monstrousPixie.Space has been cleared in my ‘best socks’ draw.There is a week of social engagements planned so friends can meet you. (knitting group first of course)And you will be here in time for Christmas ! Oh joy!Hang on in there Dear friends, it will soon be over, and in no time you’ll be walking around Cardiff on my attractive, and normal, feet.With love.Carol
There you have it, dear reader. Who is the bad guy here? Pixie the sock biter? Evil Susan and her tiny feet? Or Carol, the big hearted sock rehomer – or ” the big footed, sock thief” as I like to call her!